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Word Gems exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Kairissi & Elenchus: XIII
Kairissi. Elenchus, we’ve said so much about romantic love – in four books now, and many articles. Elenchus. Do we finally know what it means? K. I think we’ve made some progress. In fact, if we may be so bold, I think we’ve come closer to the heart of this subject than almost anybody else… And yet, even with this, if I were asked to define “true love,” I think I’d draw a blank. How do you define something that’s as expansive as the universe? as big as the ocean or the cosmos? E. And yet it’s also something very near and very personal - like a white dove, coming close, perching on your fingers...
K. Ellus, we should offer our readers a few summary comments on this subject… but where to begin? E. Why don’t you start, Kriss? Love is your default domain. K. I’m thinking of the song, “Love Changes Everything”…
K. I remember the young girl I was… so easily offended, prickly and touchy… E. (silence) K. But, “Love changes everything” – that is, eventually. I found that “Love will turn your world around.” And it turned me around with it -- but only after I'd suffered enough and was ready to accept Life as it is. E. If I may ask, again -- why were you so uncivil to me during that time? K. It didn’t seem uncivil to me. It seemed like the right thing to do. Remember, people who are stuck on lower levels of consciousness – the rungs of shame, guilt, fear – act in ways commensurate with those perceptions, which means, while living in that illusion, one’s actions seem perfectly justified and normal. E. (silence) K. Woman by nature is a nurturer. Her very constitution cries out, desiring to create a warm and loving home environment for the man she loves. Mary wants this so much that she will “settle” in order to gain even a semblance of the ideal image of happiness residing in her heart; and even though, on some level, she knows she’s compromised her heart, she experiences a measure of satisfaction, for a time, in building her home. But I want to point something out. If Mary can experience satisfaction in building home-and-hearth with a “settled for” marriage, how much greater would be her joy in terms of doing these things for her eternal, destined mate? E. (silence) K. But what do you think might happen in a situation where she wakes up, amidst the “settling” and manufactured satisfaction, to realize that she’d been uncivil to, and had sent away, her “true one,” the one with whom she was meant to travel through time and eternity? E. That would be so terrible for her. K. She would enter that world of “shame,” of which we spoke; along with abject despair, guilt, and hopelessness.. E. But at least in this realization she will be "waking up." K. And when she wakes up, “nothing in the world will ever be the same.” But healing will take time. She had been unkind, and even vicious, to the one person in the universe whom she was meant to love. More than Man, Woman lives in her feelings. And this abode of emotions will now become her house-of-horrors. E. (softly) He will forgive her, though. He loves her. He wants her to come back. K. Yes, he will eventually forgive her. But can she forgive herself? For the next many decades, though she may not often speak of it to him, dark memories of how she had destroyed her own house will plague her. Do we see the anomaly? She had been created for one particular man, to provide him with a loving home environment -- and this is the one thing that she did not do; worse, she fought against it - and him. E. (silence) K. “Love changes everything; pain is deeper than before.” E. Kriss, I don’t want you to be too hard on yourself. “Love makes fools of everyone”; we “live or perish in its flame.” K. Thank you, but… I want to be honest. I want to be better. E. But the one who loves you will help you. He has his plans to cherish and treasure you, thereby convincing you that you are accepted and received; encouraging you to forgive yourself. “Love changes everything” – even the self-condemning heart. K. (sighing) E. What do you see for me in “Love changes everything”? K. Love is Woman’s default domain, but Wisdom is Man’s. You were such a slow developer, Elenchus: but tall and sturdy oak trees take the longest to grow. You were that distracted “American Pie” boy, the intellectual loner “with a pink carnation and a pick-up truck.” And I was so incredibly unwise. I didn’t give you a chance to grow up. Instead, I became angry and wrote you off – at 13 I wrote you off!! -- even before you’d “realized I was a girl.” E. (silence) K. If I was first to catch a glimmer of who we are to each other, you were first, and adamantly so, to begin to rebuild our love. Unilaterally and without encouragement, you embarked upon this lonely unrequited process of putting right what went so wrong, so long ago. And then, with no credit for your efforts, you waited for me to have “eyes in my head.” You are such a planner, Ellus, and you're willing to stay with your plans for long years until you can make them real. And now you make plans, if it becomes necessary, even to rescue me when you cross over and leave this world. You are the poster-boy for “Love changes everything” – not just “how you live” -- which has been heroic in your waiting, but – “how you die.” E. (silence) K. Oh, Elenchus, you were such a comatose "American Pie" boy then. I just couldn't get your attention and this bothered me so. I felt I had a right to try to awaken you because, on some level, I knew you liked me, too. E. Your radar was working fine, but mine was still in the packing-box. K. "Some assembly required." E. "Batteries not included." (sighing) I don't blame you for becoming exasperated in those old days. My lack of awareness set new records for insensitivity. I look back on myself and can't believe how log-like I was. K. You were such a mystery to me, buddy; so smart in many ways, yet so insensate, to me. But, please offer a few summary words now, too. E. We began this talk by admitting to the boundless scope of the topic. K. True love is not a dance of chemicals in the brain but a focal aspect of Universal Consciousness. And how will we pin a label on this? But I’m not concerned about offering a final word here. There is no final word as Love becomes limitless and undefined as Consciousness itself… All I care about is this: Elenchus, I am so tired of hurting you. I look forward to “reshuffling the deck,” as Elizabeth put it; I just want a new life, a new chance, with you.
'George Bailey, I will love you all of my life.'
"It's A Wonderful Life" (1947)
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